Avenge The Avengers
Avengers: Endgame broke the all-time movie record of everything this past weekend. I wish I could’ve contributed to the billion+ profit but alas, I am several movies behind.
The first Avengers came out on May 4, 2012. I remember because I sat, quite manic, for two back to back showings at the movie theater. I would make it to the hospital by the next week or so, but there I sat. For lack of a better term, I tripped hard during both showings. At one point the movie was my roadmap to heaven or the answers to all of life’s problems. I sat there completely silent after the first showing and thought the theater employees cleaning and checking that clipboard down at the front were part of it all. In the seven years since, I’ve never been able to rewatch it and have stayed away from any direct Avengers movie. (Not including Black Panther, Thor, etc.)
What a oddly specific remnant of my foray into mania. I’ve let my memories be led by shame and fear instead of a forgiving humor for so long. It’ll still take time until I can replay events in my mind without feeling a suffocating anxiety but perhaps I could start one at a time.
All I know is for years a new Avengers movie will come out and I’ll retreat. Why did this franchise of all the movie-churning franchises have to be my personal shame token? Surely I couldn’t have gone to see Men in Black 3 that day.
(Well, come to think of it, I did have some kind of incessant energy to see that specific movie right after I got out of the hospital. Why? I’ll never know but my best friend obliged. Bless her heart.)
How inconvenient to get a physical pain in my heart thinking about seeing the Avengers when hundreds of millions of people enjoyed the last movie so thoroughly. I could go see it, but I’m like 20 movies behind. I have a lifetime supply of feeling left out and I’m in it with this one.
Not looking for sympathy per se, more like how effing random your brain can be in the thick of an episode. It’s been six and a half years since I’ve felt it but all it takes is one mega cast of superheroes from a studio that won’t quit to bring it all back.
One movie at a time. Captain Marvel is def first on the list.